Fan Mail 1

In case you do not know Barney, you will not relate to this entry....trust me.

Dear Barney,
I must mention that this is one of the greatest pieces of literature ever prepared on earth. The depth and insight it offers to a naïve individual about subtle nuances of life is phenomenal. I must also mention here that your apartment is the epitome of technology and encompasses 30% of the desires of men. The rest 70% being women, booze and more women and more booze. I am mesmerized by your profound style and impeccable way of living. I have a question in mind. Please guide me as to why guys start talking in strange vocabulary after they get into relationships.

Regards,
Rohan Kapoor


Dear Rohan,
What you have mentioned above is beyond doubt true. The problem that you have put up is called “Acute RelatioLamosis”, a problem widely prevalent yet underestimated.Recently connected data by Ministry of Dudes has put the figure at an alarming 73% of male population of the world. It starts when a guy starts talking excessively to a girl and refuses to fulfill his duty which is to equally divide his time between several girls. You see, when a guy talks to multiple gals, he fails to pick up any girlish slang. Even if he does, they cancel each other out as different girls have different names for same things and men are bad at remembering names. On the contrary, a man in a relationship is showered with “jaanu” meaning “life”, “jaan” meaning “ life” but in a less girly way, “ neenu aayi hai” meaning “I am feeling sleepy”, “aap neenu kar lo” meaning “you go to sleep” and in some extreme cases “aap neenu kar lo jaanu” (its meaning can be deciphered), so on and so forth uptil infinity or break-up, whichever is earlier. His neuro-psychological system is then stressed with persistent stimuli of the third kind resulting in weird responses, over-excitement, unnecessary jumping and even permanent impairment of the speech. Sadly Rohan, a cure for this disease has not been found yet. Break-up offers temporary relief but it has been observed that the infection strikes again before the body has enough time to recuperate.

Regards,

Barney