It so happens sometimes that you write a scrap to someone on Orkut but don't want the other person to be there. Here you say "Hi wats up" and nanoseconds later comes a reply" Im good, u say" as if they are just waiting for this little initiative from you to start a conversation. Then, you are left with nothing to say because for you, all your friendship with that person is just that question and anwer,albeit at different times. Such situations can be deal breakers. You cant pretend to be away, you cant reply to anyone else's scraps, you just blankly stare at the screen and are forced to logout!!!!!!!!!!
Here are a list of excuses that Prof. Manubert Manraistein has come up with for a possible escape from this nasty situation:
1.Pretend you have had a sudden attack of dyslexia. Scribble gibberish like"gdtydygkhftydy7iuy" and scrap back. Next time, they wont dare reply within 10 hours of your scrap.
2.Scrap back "Do i know you?". Lest assured, a few minutes will pass before other person comes back to their senses. Scrap back next day scolding them for not understanding your humourous attempt.
3.Reply back with each word as a separate scrap. No more scraps guaranteed.
4.Tell them you are a very religious person and have'nt taken a shower for a week waiting for the most auspicious "Mahurat" which is 2 minutes from now which if missed, will keep you hydrophobic for another fortnight. All you'll get as a reply is something girlish like "Yukkkk" or "Ewwwww". Problem solved.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Utter Nonsense 3
So what is it with all the fuss about the existence of the Loch Ness Monster? If someone can give me Kautiliyan Arguments for the following observations, i'll be more than happy to rest my case.
1.If it indeed a "monster", why is it scared of us humans. I have never heard a story of abducting, leave aside devouring any mortals all the while i have heard about it.
2.Is it camera shy, i mean somehow all its pictures are either smudgy, foggy leaving more questions than answers over their truth. look at Godzilla, it even starred in movies!
3. Is it a Mr. Loch Ness or a Ms. Loch Ness, in that case i can only pity its life. It also raises another question.....to propagate its lineage, does it self-copulate?
4.If there are actually a Mr. and Mrs. Loch Ness, are they on a "Hum Do Hamare Do" norm? Wish Indians were also following it as devotedly.
5. If there has been only one such creature, i feel its damn old and pretty fucked up, why bother?
1.If it indeed a "monster", why is it scared of us humans. I have never heard a story of abducting, leave aside devouring any mortals all the while i have heard about it.
2.Is it camera shy, i mean somehow all its pictures are either smudgy, foggy leaving more questions than answers over their truth. look at Godzilla, it even starred in movies!
3. Is it a Mr. Loch Ness or a Ms. Loch Ness, in that case i can only pity its life. It also raises another question.....to propagate its lineage, does it self-copulate?
4.If there are actually a Mr. and Mrs. Loch Ness, are they on a "Hum Do Hamare Do" norm? Wish Indians were also following it as devotedly.
5. If there has been only one such creature, i feel its damn old and pretty fucked up, why bother?
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Utter Nonsense 2
1.If Fevi-Kwik were to be applied by girls on their lips, will it be called LIPSTUCK?
2.Even the greatest stories ever told have in them, untold ballads of pain, grief and gloom and it takes severe pondering and understanding to bring these sagas to the fore. The most tragic of all stories cmomes to my mind when i think of Sholay.Its widely considered to be the best Bollywood movie . All of us know the famous characters, Gabbar, Thakur, Basanti et al. Now spare a moment for Ramu Kaka, Thakur's servant, perhaps the greatest blunder in any script ever( talking in terms of the kind of life the character leads). Lets analyse his life a bit.
Ramu Kaka is old,wears shabby clothes, he watches Radha( Jaya Bhaduri) everyday and cant make a move, he probably has no family, he lives a loner's life. But the real reason i feel sorry for him is that he has to accompany Thakur when "Nature Calls" him. Well.........you get the point.
Utter Nonsense 1
If all goes well, around four good friends of mine are going to get admissions in IIM this time around coupled with the already existing number of such species. I am going to instruct them to call me up within 24 hours of the declaration of CAT'08 result. So I'll be expecting a few calls from IIM now onwards.
HQ Test
After a lot of contemplation and understanding of the world surrounding me, I have come to the conclusion that every person has an HQ i.e. Humour Quotient. Yes its true my friends, it does exist. It did take a lot of study and careful experiments to derive a formula for calculating it. This formula sure is beyond the scope of this blog, but what I do have for you here is an easy way to determine your ‘approximate’ HQ. All you have to do is to take this questionnaire and be done with it. Here it comes…..
1. You see your nerd friend immersed in "How to Look Good Even Without the Mouchtache" at the library. You
a) ‘Boo’ him/her from behind and scare the shit out of him/her..
b) Tap gently on shoulder and ask how they are doing.
c) Grab the book and smash it in their face.
2. You’re driving and get stuck in a traffic jam. You
a) Start honking in the tune of your favorite song.
b) Wait patiently till the traffic starts moving.
c) Take out the car-jack and smash it in the face of the driver in front.
3. You’re at a rave party and your institute's bald,arrogant principal shows up. You
a) Start shouting “ Check out the big brain of ( your principals name)”
b) Go greet him/her and touch his/her feet.
c) Grab a chair and smash it in his/her face.
4. You’re at a construction site of the newly approved archipelago of luxury hotels with the engineer. You
a) Use crane for swinging about in the air and sing "Yeh Dil Deewana" from Pardes.
b) Roam around applauding the progress.
c) Grab a brick and smash it in engineer’s face.
5. Its your 10th anniversary of a turbulent marriage . You
a) get high with your soul-mate and roam about the streets.
b) take her out for dinner and spend time together.
c)order a cake and smash it in her face.
6. You’re playing "mohalla cricket" to impress the blonde haired hottie who lives in your block and the umpire gives you out. You
a) mimic him and tell him that he should raise a different finger if he wants to go pee.
b) do a Gilchrist, walk off shaking your head.
c) smash the bat in umpire’s face.
7.You meet Katrina Kaif walking on the beach. You
a) whistle aloud shouting that she’s an amazing item.
b) compliment her and ask her if she’ll marry you
c) grab a crab and smash it in her face.
8) You meet a bearded beggar at the traffic lights with 3 painful minutes before the light tuns green. You,
a) laugh at him and tell him to get a Gillette Mach 3 razor.
b) sympathise and part off with some money.
c) grab his bowl and smash it in his face.
9. You win a baby slapping competition creating a record with 113 slaps in 1 minute and are awarded a trophy. You
a) give a one hour long speech thanking each and every person you know.
b) shake hands with the chief guest and gracefully except it.
c) smash the trophy in chief guest’s face.
10.Your always cribbing lady neighbour shows you her newly adopted puppy. You
a) paint its fur crimson and tell her that now it matches with her lipstick shade.
b) hold it and mention what a fine breed it is.
c) hold the puppy by its legs and smash it in your neighbours face.
Now all the A’s are for two points, B’s are for one and C’s are for zero. Talking in CAT terms, a score of 20 gives 100 percentile. I hope you can calculate where you stand.
P.S. Even if you have a single C, damn you’re a maniac. Get away from my blog
1. You see your nerd friend immersed in "How to Look Good Even Without the Mouchtache" at the library. You
a) ‘Boo’ him/her from behind and scare the shit out of him/her..
b) Tap gently on shoulder and ask how they are doing.
c) Grab the book and smash it in their face.
2. You’re driving and get stuck in a traffic jam. You
a) Start honking in the tune of your favorite song.
b) Wait patiently till the traffic starts moving.
c) Take out the car-jack and smash it in the face of the driver in front.
3. You’re at a rave party and your institute's bald,arrogant principal shows up. You
a) Start shouting “ Check out the big brain of ( your principals name)”
b) Go greet him/her and touch his/her feet.
c) Grab a chair and smash it in his/her face.
4. You’re at a construction site of the newly approved archipelago of luxury hotels with the engineer. You
a) Use crane for swinging about in the air and sing "Yeh Dil Deewana" from Pardes.
b) Roam around applauding the progress.
c) Grab a brick and smash it in engineer’s face.
5. Its your 10th anniversary of a turbulent marriage . You
a) get high with your soul-mate and roam about the streets.
b) take her out for dinner and spend time together.
c)order a cake and smash it in her face.
6. You’re playing "mohalla cricket" to impress the blonde haired hottie who lives in your block and the umpire gives you out. You
a) mimic him and tell him that he should raise a different finger if he wants to go pee.
b) do a Gilchrist, walk off shaking your head.
c) smash the bat in umpire’s face.
7.You meet Katrina Kaif walking on the beach. You
a) whistle aloud shouting that she’s an amazing item.
b) compliment her and ask her if she’ll marry you
c) grab a crab and smash it in her face.
8) You meet a bearded beggar at the traffic lights with 3 painful minutes before the light tuns green. You,
a) laugh at him and tell him to get a Gillette Mach 3 razor.
b) sympathise and part off with some money.
c) grab his bowl and smash it in his face.
9. You win a baby slapping competition creating a record with 113 slaps in 1 minute and are awarded a trophy. You
a) give a one hour long speech thanking each and every person you know.
b) shake hands with the chief guest and gracefully except it.
c) smash the trophy in chief guest’s face.
10.Your always cribbing lady neighbour shows you her newly adopted puppy. You
a) paint its fur crimson and tell her that now it matches with her lipstick shade.
b) hold it and mention what a fine breed it is.
c) hold the puppy by its legs and smash it in your neighbours face.
Now all the A’s are for two points, B’s are for one and C’s are for zero. Talking in CAT terms, a score of 20 gives 100 percentile. I hope you can calculate where you stand.
P.S. Even if you have a single C, damn you’re a maniac. Get away from my blog
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