HQ Test

After a lot of contemplation and understanding of the world surrounding me, I have come to the conclusion that every person has an HQ i.e. Humour Quotient. Yes its true my friends, it does exist. It did take a lot of study and careful experiments to derive a formula for calculating it. This formula sure is beyond the scope of this blog, but what I do have for you here is an easy way to determine your ‘approximate’ HQ. All you have to do is to take this questionnaire and be done with it. Here it comes…..

1. You see your nerd friend immersed in "How to Look Good Even Without the Mouchtache" at the library. You
a) ‘Boo’ him/her from behind and scare the shit out of him/her..
b) Tap gently on shoulder and ask how they are doing.
c) Grab the book and smash it in their face.

2. You’re driving and get stuck in a traffic jam. You
a) Start honking in the tune of your favorite song.
b) Wait patiently till the traffic starts moving.
c) Take out the car-jack and smash it in the face of the driver in front.

3. You’re at a rave party and your institute's bald,arrogant principal shows up. You
a) Start shouting “ Check out the big brain of ( your principals name)”
b) Go greet him/her and touch his/her feet.
c) Grab a chair and smash it in his/her face.

4. You’re at a construction site of the newly approved archipelago of luxury hotels with the engineer. You
a) Use crane for swinging about in the air and sing "Yeh Dil Deewana" from Pardes.
b) Roam around applauding the progress.
c) Grab a brick and smash it in engineer’s face.

5. Its your 10th anniversary of a turbulent marriage . You
a) get high with your soul-mate and roam about the streets.
b) take her out for dinner and spend time together.
c)order a cake and smash it in her face.

6. You’re playing "mohalla cricket" to impress the blonde haired hottie who lives in your block and the umpire gives you out. You
a) mimic him and tell him that he should raise a different finger if he wants to go pee.
b) do a Gilchrist, walk off shaking your head.
c) smash the bat in umpire’s face.

7.You meet Katrina Kaif walking on the beach. You
a) whistle aloud shouting that she’s an amazing item.
b) compliment her and ask her if she’ll marry you
c) grab a crab and smash it in her face.

8) You meet a bearded beggar at the traffic lights with 3 painful minutes before the light tuns green. You,
a) laugh at him and tell him to get a Gillette Mach 3 razor.
b) sympathise and part off with some money.
c) grab his bowl and smash it in his face.

9. You win a baby slapping competition creating a record with 113 slaps in 1 minute and are awarded a trophy. You
a) give a one hour long speech thanking each and every person you know.
b) shake hands with the chief guest and gracefully except it.
c) smash the trophy in chief guest’s face.

10.Your always cribbing lady neighbour shows you her newly adopted puppy. You
a) paint its fur crimson and tell her that now it matches with her lipstick shade.
b) hold it and mention what a fine breed it is.
c) hold the puppy by its legs and smash it in your neighbours face.

Now all the A’s are for two points, B’s are for one and C’s are for zero. Talking in CAT terms, a score of 20 gives 100 percentile. I hope you can calculate where you stand.

P.S. Even if you have a single C, damn you’re a maniac. Get away from my blog